If you’re like a lot of people, your mind can be your own worst enemy and biggest bully.
It seems like as soon as you make a mistake, the judgemental, mean thoughts come flooding in and won’t stop. Maybe these thoughts have gotten so loud that they feel uncontrollable- like you’re absolutely drowning in them.
I bet when they get loud enough, you start to feel pretty depressed, anxious, or even self-loathing.
You aren’t alone- I get it. And it doesn’t have to be like this forever. There are research-backed ways out of this pattern that I have personally used with many clients, and I am happy to share 5 with you here.
By the time you finish reading this, you will be equipped with specific tools to quiet this Critic and calm your mind. Let’s get started.
- Separate Yourself from the Critic
That voice in your head…
… labeling you a loser
… saying you’ll never be good enough
… calling you fat or ugly or stupid
… deciding you are too much or not enough….
That is NOT you- it’s the Critic!
Try giving that Critic a name, whether it is Mr./Ms. Critic, Bully, Hater, or even George- anything works. Giving and calling the Critic by a name will help you separate the real you from that mean, nagging voice that brings you down. Anytime you hear Mr. Critic speaking, you can say to yourself,
“There goes Mr. Critic again!”
- Picture It
Imagine your inner Critic as a creepy little gremlin, a grumpy monster, a strange creature, or a persnickety old lady sitting on your shoulder whispering this negativity into your ear every chance it gets.
What does it look like? How big is it? Is it wearing anything? Does it look scared, angry, sad, or even evilly gleeful?
Bonus points if you spend some time creating a drawing, painting, or sculpture of the creature and put it somewhere you pass regularly.
What would you say to the taunts if they were coming, not from you but from this bothersome creature?
- Get Silly With It
Don’t waste your time trying to figure out if those thoughts that bring you down are true or not. Who cares? Are they helping you live the life you want? I’m going to go ahead and guess that they only make things worse.
The important thing is that thoughts are just that- thoughts!! Words are floating around in your mind, some more helpful than others.
So, why not try something silly to see if you can see the judgments as nothing but words?
Picture your favorite cartoon character’s voice, the voice of a newscaster, or even that deep, suspenseful movie trailer voice. Got it? Good – now say your mean thought in that character’s voice.
Made you giggle, didn’t it? Maybe you can take that thought a little less seriously now. I hope so.
- Sing it Out!
Another way to get some space between you and your thoughts is to put them into music.
Try singing your thoughts to yourself in a popular tune like “Happy Birthday” or “Mary Had a Little Lamb.”
Suppose your mind is telling you, “I can’t do this.” Let’s try singing it to “Happy Birthday” right now.
“I can’t do-o-o this,
I can’t do-o-o this,
I can’t do-oo-oo this
I can’t do-o-o this.”
What do you notice?
- Say it Again (and Again and Again and Again and Again)
Have you ever said milk 50 times in a row? Go ahead. Do it now.
What happened? It starts to sound really funny, doesn’t it? Almost like you aren’t even sure it’s a real word anymore. It loses all of its meaning.
Try that with a label your Critic gravitates towards. Does it call you lazy? Say that 50 times. Really- right now.
lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy,
lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy,
lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy,
lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy,
lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy,
Sounds weird, right? Even starts to look strange. The point is, lazy is just a bunch of sounds and syllables, squiggles and lines- just a word. A little less powerful now, right?
The Real Transformation Begins Here
So, now comes the transformative part of these tips- practice, practice, practice!!
Reading alone won’t create mastery of any skill. It simply isn’t possible. But if you are ready to quiet that Critic, change is possible!
Tell me below which of these 5 tips you are going to try today.
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