Dissociation may sound like a scary word, but mild forms of it are actually incredibly common
So what is dissociation?.
Well, have you ever…
… pulled into your driveway after a long day only to realize you couldn’t remember the last few miles of the drive?
… read the same page in a novel 5 times and still have no idea what is going on?
… gotten totally lost in a daydream?
… realized your partner was staring at you, expecting you to say something, but you can’t for the life of you recall what the conversation was even about because you totally spaced out?
If you are like most people, you have had at least one of these mild dissociative experiences. Often called spacing out, zoning out, or getting lost in the clouds, dissociation is a psychological phenomenon that causes you to feel detached from yourself or reality.
If most of us do this, is it even a problem?
For most people, zoning out occasionally doesn’t cause significant issues. In those who only experience this for a few seconds from time to time, it is probably not something to worry about.
However, if you find yourself lost in the clouds more often than not, have trouble keeping up with conversations or tasks, or experience more extreme dissociative states like feeling your body doesn’t belong to you or that life is somehow not real, it may be time to seek help.
A therapist can help you deal with the triggers, heal the trauma, and teach you grounding, embodiment, and regulation tools.
Why do our brains do this?
To protect us! When our brains detect a threat, they either send us into fight-or-flight with a burst of adrenaline or shut us down almost completely as a final effort to preserve us and prepare for whatever is coming. In this shut-down or spaced-out state, our bodies become slower, our emotions duller, our energy depletes, and speaking becomes increasingly difficult.
Studies show that nearly the entire brain decreases activity and that the body even releases chemicals to reduce the felt sense of pain and give us a sense of detachment from ourselves and reality.
What to do about it
If you are still here reading this, it probably means that you have had some of these experiences.
It’s okay- you’re not crazy, and help is possible.
One tool that can help everyone is grounding through the 5 senses.
5, 4, 3, 2, 1
This countdown using the 5 senses is one of the most simple yet significant things you can do to feel more present and grounded. You can do this absolutely anywhere, and all you need is you! It works like this:
Notice 5 things you can SEE and label them in your mind.
Really look at them. Notice the colors, shapes, textures, patterns, and sizes.
Now notice 4 things you can HEAR.
Really listen. Notice the tone, volume, pitch, cadence, and even vibrations.
Next, notice 3 things you can TOUCH.
Take your time. Feel the textures, temperatures, movement, etc.
Now notice 2 things you can SMELL.
This one is trickier for some. If you don’t notice a smell in the air, maybe there is something nearby or on your body- a candle, the lotion you just put on, your tea sitting on your desk, an essential oil, your laundry detergent on your sweater, an air freshener, etc.
Finally, notice 1 thing you can TASTE.
Most of the time, you can find something to taste mindfully, even if it is a sip of water or a piece of gum. But, if not, just notice the taste already in your mouth (or lack of taste).
Try it out!
Resources
https://www.mhanational.org/conditions/dissociation-and-dissociative-disorders
https://www.wellandgood.com/what-does-dissociation-feel-like/
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